Thursday, 21 March 2013

The first page: Revised

After looking back over my journals, I realise that many of my earlier pieces were little more than rough drafts. I've decided to go back over and polish my work. Here's an excerpt from the revised 'First Page.'

I awoke three months ago on the beach. It was pitch black, save for the starlight. I felt cool sand under my fingers, a salty breeze on my face and heard the breaking of waves behind me. Trees rustled in the wind and muffled voices droned in the distance. I had to find where I was.

Loose sand became solid ground under my boots and wet grass brushed my pants. The groaning grew louder as I crept closer and footsteps shuffled on bitumen up ahead. I jumped as a clammy hand gripped my ankle and ripped me to the ground. Pain shot through my body as teeth tore at my leg. I kicked and broke free like a pinned gazelle, scrambling to my feet and onto road I couldn’t see. Groaning voices became inhuman roars and shuffling feet sped to sprinting from all directions. I had to move.

My blood-filled boot squelched as I legged it into the shadows. Trees tugged at my clothes, skewered my skin and appeared from nowhere to smack me down. I’d lost a shit load of blood and all sense of direction or time. My stiffening leg was slowing me down and the adrenaline was doing nothing to dull the pain. I had to stop.

I hit the deck hard, bashing my face into a rock, and fought back a scream. My pursuers grew closer, yelping and gurgling like animals. I lay in silence as the stampede trampled over my beaten body.

When they moved out of earshot I strapped my ankle with a torn strip of shirt. I spent the night trembling in a ditch.


  1. Are you going to re-do the whole thing?

    1. Maybe, I have a lot going on at the moment. The old versions were all basically rough drafts, uploaded without editing, and I felt like they weren't good representations of my writing.

      Hopefully I'll have something new soon.

    2. That's kinda lame :/ Could you at least upload them somewhere as an archive type deal? I never got to finish reading all the parts.